A Mind of It's Own

I hate it when my plot re-writes itself, but I know it's only becoming stronger. Still, it's frustrating. It makes me wonder if Home will ever really be ready to be queried, of if I should just trunk it and start working on something else. At this point I'm not sure anymore. How do you know when it's time to trunk an MS? Most seem to get pushed aside after the query process, but what about before? How do you know when it's just not working out and it's time to start a new project?

Maybe I just need to give Home a real chance instead of constantly second guessing myself, but that's difficult for me to do. What do you think?

Edit: On this same topic, I'm thinking about cutting 19ish pages out of the manuscript and writing something else. The maturity level of Home has just grown beyond this part and I don't know what to do with it, but if I cut it I'm afraid it's going to have a detrimental effect on my word count. (Which is a silly reason to keep it in.) -bangs head into desk repeatedly-

When He Talks He Won't Shut Up

And I mean that in a good way.

Nothing really all that special today, but a few nights ago I was up until 5am re-working Tas' (a character in Home) room. If you aren't aware yet, I'm tying the entire manuscript for Home into a new document so it won't have those horrid lines through it and in doing so I made a discovering. Tas never told me what his room really looked like. This was a horrifying thought and instantly shut down my progress. I couldn't write if I didn't know what his room looked like. So I broke out my notebook, my four inch thick art book (thank you Dr. Knappe), put on a TV series and got to work. Three hours later, Tas' room has emerged and it's beautiful.

So I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on the room and what's inside it. First of all, we have this lovely piece: 

I saw this and fell in love with it. It's an old sleigh bed from the 17th century. I imagine the design is just a little more simple than this, but essentially this is what I see Tas' bed looking like.

This bedding is effeminate, I know, but I liked the colors and the feel I got from it so I image Tas's bedding is something similar to this. It's in a Tuscan style and is also antique. ( I feel a theme coming on.)

I think this table is too high, to be accurate for what I want, but I like it anyway, so just...imagine it being shorter as his room has no chairs. Antique.

You may or may not remember, I mentioned an antique grandfather clock that sat in the back corner of Tas's room. Well, this is what it looks like, but I believe the finish is darker, more like the finish on the table. (Yes, everything in the room is an antique. It's like walking into a museum so I'm just going to stop saying it.)

This is a handwoven carpet that sits in the center of the room, filling the space between the windows and the table. I personally think it's quite lovely.

 The pillows that sit around Tas' table in place of chairs. I imagine them being from India or something, but I had a serious problem finding antique floor cushions, so...yeah.

Tas' beautiful curtains. Raw silk, black out lined to keep out the sun and just all around pretty.

And now for some of the more random pieces in his room:

This is a large handmade French copper cauldron from the 1840's. I believe Tas keeps scraps of parchment and paper in this for some odd reason. It sits by this trunk:

Which holds the cape he gives to Aroya and an assortment of other things, among which I believe to be his uniform from the Council which he hates to wear. (All Protectors are issued uniforms which consist of trousers, a woolen shirt in light blue, almost grey and are required to wear (a) shoulder armor (spaulder) and carry a weapon at all times.) I imagine that's all stuffed in here.

These are ginger jars from China, but he has an odd collection and assortment of jars and vases all over his room.

The Waltz, a miniature of it at least in bronze that he keeps on the bed length shelf built out of the wall next to his bed.

Lament For Icarus which hangs on his wall next to his fireplace.

Now, this is the full sculpture of Cupid and Psyche, but Tas has a miniature of it on his table. (Because it's pretty and I like it.)

Globe. Did you know that Tas collects maps? He does. He loves them for some reason. (Boy's stuck in the past, I'm tellin' ya.)

Italian enameled terracotta olive oil jar.

He also has an assortment of scrolls and old books all over the place. Many of which are in Latin and about the Ancients, but he also collects books on math and science, art, history, and literature.

Now for some fun information. Tas was born in 1802, he traveled the world for almost a hundred years and then spent nearly as much time training at the Council. During his travels he collected the above articles himself. 

The interior of his room is based on Romanesque architecture and he has a vaulted ceiling.

He also plays the violin. 8D Hopefully this tasty little tidbit will appear in the third MS for Home. (Alexander plays the piano.) 

And this entry took far too long to write. >.<

Writing Crutches

I know, two posts in one day. But I recently found this article

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/4-writing-crutches-that-insult-the-readers-intelligence/

and discovered that sadly, I am guilty of all four. But, I have also done research on many of my favorite books and discovered that they use some of these same tools, but it tasteful ways, so just because it says you shouldn't use certain things or techniques in your writing doesn't mean you CAN'T you just have to know.

And I suppose that's the hard part isn't it? Knowing when to use certain techniques and when not to use them. Like ellipses for example... Use them sparingly, but I noticed that in my favorite books I feel the ellipses strengthen the writing and add to it. I suppose then the rule of thumb for the ellipse is that if it can be taken out without changing the writing it shouldn't be there. It should be used to strengthen the writing, not make it weaker. As the article suggests, try strengthening the writing first before adding in ellipses. Something I'm still not very good at.

So what are your writing crutches? What do you struggle with as a writer?

(Oddly enough I've been told to assume the reader is an idiot, which is a very helpful bit of advice, but don't insult the reader either. It has to be balanced. You don't want the reader to become confused, but you should allow them to make intuitive leaps with you. Also something I'm not very good at.)

Aside from that how are you all? How's the writing going? Or if you're not a writer how is life in general?

Feeling Classic

I just recently finished re-reading one of my favorite books of all time, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. (Is it bad that I have a crush on Captain Nemo?) It's one of those classic books that never goes out of style in my not so humble opinion. (I'm working on that no so humble part.) And guess what? If you don't own it or haven't read it yet you can find it online to have and to hold for your very own , or you can find it at your local library (hopefully). I'm not sure what the age range for this book would be. I read it when I was a kid and I'm 20 now so...I guess it really all depends on the reader. I personally loved all the little adventures Nemo took the Professor on and I enjoyed imagining myself standing right beside them. It's been one of the most captivating books I've ever read in my life. Truly, it's an oldy but a goodie.

(This is my way of apologizing for being so rude in my last post. That was uncalled for and it was childish and I apologize.)

RANT RANT RANT

I know, I've been MIA lately, but I swear I have a good excuse and that I've been working (mostly). So, one of my friends participated in NaNoWriMo with me last year and wrote The Violated which she is currently gutting and writing anew. We've been bouncing ideas back and forth as I've been going through my project of re-writing Home into a whole new document. She recommended some ideas for new scenes and one of them was that Aroya actually get her memory wiped instead of, you know, not. And I liked the idea. ... so now I'm re-writing it...again. I swear, my parents are ready to kill me. They think it's great the way it is, but I look at the MS and see all the plot holes, clunky writing, spelling and grammatical errors and abrupt transitions and I just can't leave it like that.

I'm not going to be like Amanda Hocking. I know that I actually CAN write and I plan to prove it. Don't talk to me about Amanda Hocking or I'll have to start swearing like a sailor using strong language to voice my disapproval. People like her and Stephanie Meyer, their publishers, editors and fans all need to be shot. And that's a personal opinion. I don't find it encouraging that people like them can get published so that means I can do. I just find it offensive. Why would I bother writing for a socity that reads stuff like that? It just shows me that writing is pointless. No one enjoys real iterature anymore. When was the last time you read a classic book? No one remembers classic literature anymore. I wish I could write like that, but the truth is I can't. So why should I bother?

So what am I going to do with my life? I can't live in my parent's house forever.

RANT RANT RANT.

I'm off to listen to Exile Vilify, because that makes everything better. Rant Rant Rant

Sorry guys, I'm just really unhappy right now. So I'll leave you with this thought before I offend any of you. What happens to a dream deferred?

Here We Go Again

D*amn it if Home isn't going to kill me. I've been studying query letters thanks to the wonderful Query Shark and have decided that if I'm going to bother making the attempt to find an agent for Home, I might as well fix the formatting errors. It's got these horrid lines through it that at one point acted as breaks to show a change in time, but now are just a mess and horribly distracting. Sadly, the only way I know of to get rid of these is to completely re-write the entire thing into a new word document.

During this process I have come to the conclusion that there are a plethora of spelling mistakes, bad transitions, and general awkwardness. My inner writing natzi is demanding that these be fixed, so Home is getting a face lift. Which it badly needs before I try to find and agent, but I'm still not happy about it.

Bunch of Pessimists

That's what they are. All four of my mainish characters in Home are total pessimists. None of them believe in soul mates or true love. How depressing is that? And they all have parental issues of some kind. -rolls eyes- Great, more daddy issues. As if the plot didn't have enough already.

I don't know what I'm going to do with them all. They've all got deep dark secrets that are going to tear them apart if they aren't careful...or maybe I should just let them tear themselves apart. Hmm...that could be interesting. I dunno. It doesn't fit with New Beginnings, but maybe in the third one it will show up. Rei's background does so that'll be fun to play with. Lots of tension going on there.

And I can't decide whether or not to get Aroya addicted to pain pills. That has potential, but is it a little too dramatic? Maybe I'll just hint at it but not have her actually getting addicted to them. Ugh, I need printer ink. I can't do anything for the MS if I don't have a hard copy now, but I have no way of getting one and it's driving me batty. I don't know what to do.

Oh, oh, and I think one of my characters is a XXXXXXXX. Grrr...It's driving me nuts and I demand he change, but he's being stubborn. I'll change his views yet, even if it kills me.

Alternate Scene

This is too rude of Aroya to actually fit into the MS so it's just here for my entertainment. I love it when she gets snide.

~

            Aroya walked into the Council chambers, her gait stiff. She held her chin high and faced Councilman Marcus in the eye before deliberately sitting on the floor in front of them. The Council members were thrown for a moment and could only stare.

            “May I ask what you’re doing?” Marcus snapped. Aroya all but glared up at him.

            “If I’m going to be treated like a child I’m going to act like one.” The corner of Liliana’s mouth quirked up, but Aroya was too busy glaring at Marcus to notice.

            “Before we continue I’d like to request that the Council stop looking down their noses at me, judging me, mocking me.” She briefly ground her teeth, struggling to get her anger under control.

            “Sitting on the floor is not helping your case,” one of the other Council members mumbled. Aroya didn’t catch who it was. Marcus’s face mottled.

            “What right have you to demand we treat you as an adult? You know nothing.”

            “Then teach me!” Aroya rose to her feet in a rush, her own face heating. “Stop mocking me and teach me,” she pleaded, the anger seeping out of her voice and changing to desperation. She had to get them to stop viewing her as a child.

            “I can’t learn if no one will help me.”

~

Trying something new. Does the italics bother anyone or is it easier to tell what's from a manuscript and what's not?

Sneak Peek

of what's inside my new MS, New Beginnings. This scene is new and very raw. I haven't even been able to work it into the MS yet. Right now it's a stand alone, but it NEEDS to be in the MS for plot reasons, but I wanted to share it with you guys for some reason. So here it is:

~

            Aroya crossed her arms across the surface of the table and rested her chin atop them. “Why were you flying over Brazil?”

            Rei gave a start. “What?”

            Aroya tilted her head and stared up at her. “Remember when you first took me back home to collect my things and I asked you how you broke your wing? You said it happened when you-”

            “Were flying over Brazil. Now I remember.”

            “So what were you doing flying over Brazil?” she asked. Rei sighed and leaned back in her chair.

            “That was…eight years ago.” She cast a glance around the table. “We’d received some information that Ataya might have been to Brazil when she disappeared. It was possible she was still there at the time. There was said to be a woman matching her description with a daughter down there.”

            Aroya’s forehead furrowed. “What was my mother doing in Brazil?”

            “That’s what we wanted to know.”

            Rei cast a frustrated look at Tas. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told you. You couldn’t’ go.”

            “Well I don’t see why not.”

            “You don’t speak the language Tas. And besides, my father’s contacts would never have talked to you.”

            “Your father?” Aroya asked. What did he have to do with all this?

            Rei nodded. “Yes. My father was the one who sent us the information. He was  web of connections all over the place. He pulls the strings like a giant spider and people come running, eager to fulfill his every wish,” she muttered. Her voice was bitter and cold and she was slumping further down into her chair as she spoke. Rei made a face and dismissed the conversation.

            “Anyway, I went to check on the information, but it proved to be false.”

            “It wasn’t my mother?”

            Rei shook her head. “No. Just a woman who matched the description, but she was perfectly human and her daughter was too old to have been you.” She smiled. “It appears your mother never set foot in Brazil.” Aroya’s lips formed a silent ‘oh.’

            “So…when flying back home you were attacked by a half blood who knocked you out of the sky?” Tas shot a look at Rei who looked panicked. She swallowed nervously.

            “Uh…yeah. Hit a tree and busted up my wing. Had to walk through the jungle for awhile, but eventually was able to fly again. As you can see I made it back in one piece.” She laughed, but it was tight and strained. Tas looked furious.

            “If you’ll excuse me.” He rose to his feet, his body language defensive and tense. “I have things to do.” As he vanished atop the landing Rei’s forehead struck her palm.

            “Great. Just great. This is bloody wonderful.” Alexander sighed lightly. Aroya glanced back and forth between the two as Rei continued mumbling to herself.

            “What just happened?” she asked.

            “Nnnghffff.”

            Aroya stared at Rei. “Excuse me?”

            “What she means is that Tas finds the term “half blood” offensive.”

            “But I didn’t mean-” Rei cut in. Alexander lifted his hand, cutting her off.

            “I know.”

            Rei sighed and put her head in her hands again.

            Aroya looked panicked. “But I-” Rei reached over and touched her hand.

            “I wasn’t your fault sweetie. I never should have called him that. The man who attacked me didn’t deserve to be referred to like that.” Aroya looked from Rei to Alexander.

            “I still don’t understand.”

            “Tas’s mother is human. According to some, that makes his blood mixed and he is therefore inferior because of it.”

            “But isn’t he stronger than you?” Aroya asked. Alexander laughed and she flushed. She hadn’t meant it to sound like Alexander was weak.

            “Yes, he is which is why it’s such a ridiculous claim.” Laughter lilted in Alexander’s voice and Aroya was glad he wasn’t offended.

            “He shouldn’t be upset by that though. He knows my mother was human too,” Rei insisted.

            “Yes, but the difference is that you were never chastised by your peers for it.” Rei snorted. “He’s had problems with his place in the world, with his blood, with who he is since he was three. And it’s never stopped,” he said quietly.

             Aroya was horrified. “I-I didn’t know…” Neither had Rei. She knew he hated the term half-blood, but she’d never quite known why.

            Alexander nodded. “He’d like to keep it that way.”

            Aroya’s heart ached for Tas. She didn’t know what kind of pain that must have inflicted on his heart. To be as old as he is and spend so much of his life having people judge him because of who his parents were. She didn’t know how he handled it. 

~

So there you have it. :) It'll get cleaned up when I finally work it in, until then this is probably as good as it's going to get.

Romance

I feel like this post is not going to be at all relevant, but it's something that's on my mind. Romance. I guess. : /

I hate being in love with someone who doesn't even know what I look like and he never will. I'll never see him face to face and he'll never see me, but I can't help feeling that I love him. But how should I know. I've never been in love. Can you believe that? Twenty years old and never been in love.

So what's with this ridiculous belief that we have to fall in love as teenagers anyway? It seems to permiate media and books and...well everything. It's like a disease. Young love. It's like if you're not in love at sixteen there's something wrong with you. Well you know what? I do want to be in love, but if it's because the media says I should be I will die all alone. I don't want to fall in love because the world says I should so why does the media tell us that so many romances have to happen at sixteen? Go look at your YA fantasy. How old are your characters? Is there a romance in said novel? My question is WHY. Why do we feel romance is so necessary in today's fiction? I'm really getting sick of it. Maybe I'm just not well enough read and there are some really good novels out there that don't have sappy teen romance, but at this moment I feel I haven't found any.

I like a touch of romance, but not where the romance is the main plot point in the novel. I think that's boring and I don't want it in my YA. And so many of it's just so badly written. There's no depth, no character development and no deeper meaning.

Please forgive the rant, I'm just tired.